It has been way too long since I have put anything on this blog, and with the things that have gone on in my life during the course of July I felt it was time to write. It is gong to be hard for me to put into words just exactly how I am feeling, but I am willing to give it a shot.
On July 8th, my wife and I lost the child that we were expecting. We were experiencing complications with the pregnancy and my wife had been on bed rest for about 3 weeks prior to everything taking place. We had numerous visits to the ER from the complications and were beginning to get on a first name basis with the hospital staff (okay it wasn't that bad, but we were there a lot!). Michell (my wife), and I had started contemplating names for our son hoping that we would come to agreement on a name for the new addition to our family. We had finally narrowed the plethora of names down to just a handful, but still had not decided on a name.
About 1 AM July 7th Michelle woke me up and told me we needed to head to the hospital. I had barely fallen asleep and was up in a flash, rushing to put clothes on so we could get there fast. We called my mother-in-law so someone could come and be here if our 2 year old son so happened to wake up. My in laws made it here faster than we thought they would, and Michelle's mother decided to go with us. We left my father-in-law to take care of Creighton, and we bolted to the hospital.
We got to the hospital about 1:30 and had a room about 1:45. Blood work, IV, ultrasound, and monitoring Michelle's vitals went on during this time. It was hard for me to see my wife lying in that hospital bed; I knew she was scared and frankly, so was I. We couldn't sleep so we watched the news over and over, and over again. I think we saw the same news stories so many times that we could have quoted them on command. There just isn't anything on that early in the morning unless you need to impulse buy some kitchen devices that you didn't know that you needed.
I couldn't tell you the exact time that Michelle's doctor came in, but at some point she did. She told us that there had been a decrease in fluid around the baby and that it is very possible that the fluid could replenish itself. She also told us the possibilities and possible scenarios that could happen. She looked me in the eye and told me that my wife will walk out of here. It was very reassuring! We knew that if she had to she would take our baby to make sure that Michelle would get to stay with us. Talk about a lump in my throat! I asked about work and she said that she did not feel as if anything was going to happen, and that it was the wise thing for me to do by going to work. I stayed by Michelle's side until around lunch time when someone came to the hospital to relieve me. I was supposed to go home and sleep, but sleep wasn't even going to happen. How could I sleep? My wife was in the hospital and I wasn't with her. I felt guilty, so I mowed the yard instead of sleeping. I came in from mowing, showered, and gathered up some items for Michele then headed back to the hospital.
